Trashcan lid T-bones!
Your favorite casino owner is going to whisper something like this in your ear. ”Spend your windfall on a T-bone the size of a trashcan lid, full-on indulge in retail therapy at one of our vast outlets. Subject your forty-year-old body to the fitness regime of a twenty-something—don’t worry, there are paramedics on-site at all times. And it’s on us. Don’tDon’t you like those choices? Okay, just mooch around the outdoor pool, or take self-indulgence to Kardashian levels by pampering yourself in the Spa.’’
Some casinos, not content with you actually being there, will ask you to sign up to their online gambling app. In this way, you can play real slots with one hand, while playing virtual slots with the other. No doubt you’ll soon be able to sign up to courses that train you how to throw dice with your feet, so you can play craps at the same time too.
Don’t get us wrong. There’s nothing wrong with online gambling.
Try www.baccaratboogieclub.com as a cracking example of online gambling at its absolute best. But real and virtual gambling at the same time?
We remain unconvinced of one thing. That betting on how many nanoseconds a teenage cowboy will stay in the saddle during the bronco-busting event at this year’s Calgary Stampede is the best use of your time.
Never mind them dice, brother! Throw dat cheese!
Some casinos specialise in sports betting. You can wager all manner of bets. On all forms of live sporting events. Wanna bet on whether the Columbus Panhandles’Panhandles’ offence gets abducted by aliens en masse before or after the national anthem? (You’llYou’ll get even money for both.) Then you are in the right place. Is Parmesan Athletic playing in a cheese-throwing semi-final in Rome right now? You’llYou’ll be able to bet on the farthest distance thrown.
But, really. Why would you travel long-distance to an American mainland casino, to place such a bet? You’dYou’d be better off flying directly to Rome, maybe even catch the winning cheese with your own two hands. Better still, go to www.baccaratboogieclub.com and sprawl over your EZ-Boy recliner, making leisurely bets and watching the cheeses fly across your 50 inch Samsung TV.